| Course | HCA 130 Healthcare Writing and Communications |
|---|---|
| Module | Module 8 |
| Paper type | Revision portfolio |
| Length | About 1,049 words, 6 pages |
| Format | APA 7 student paper |
| School | Aspen University |
| Program | Health Care Administration |
| Updated | September 2026 |
Free sample paper for HCA 130 Module 8
Before and After: A Revision Portfolio and What It Taught Me
Student Name
Health Care Administration Program, Aspen University
HCA 130: Healthcare Writing and Communications
Instructor Name
Month Day, Year
Before and After: A Revision Portfolio and What It Taught Me
A revision portfolio collects pieces of writing in their first and final forms and reflects on what changed and why. It shows growth that a single polished paper cannot. This portfolio contains three short pieces written in a composite medical administrative role during the course: a patient text reminder, a paragraph for a patient handout and an email to a supervisor. Each is shown before and after revision, followed by a reflection on patterns in my drafts and a checklist I will keep using.
Piece One: A Text Reminder
The first draft read: Reminder: You have an appt w/ Dr. Rivera at Family Clinic on 6/18 @ 2:15pm for your f/u re: lab results. Pls arrive 15 min early. Reply Y to confirm or call to resched. The revised version read: Family Clinic: Your visit is Wed, June 18 at 2:15 p.m. Please come 15 minutes early. Reply C to confirm or R to change the time.
What Changed in Piece One
The revision removed abbreviations such as appt, f/u and resched, which some patients will not know. It removed the reason for the visit, lab results, because text messages can be seen by others and reminders should include only the minimum. It added the day of the week, which helps people place a date. It replaced Y with C to match the clinic's system and made the reply options parallel.
Piece Two: A Handout Paragraph
The first draft read: In the event that you are unable to attend your scheduled appointment, it is requested that notification be provided to the office no less than 24 hours in advance so that the time slot can be reallocated to another patient who may be in need of care. The revision read: Can't make it? Please call us at least one day before your visit. We can then give your time to another patient who needs care.
What Changed in Piece Two
The original was one 46-word sentence in the passive voice. The revision uses three short sentences, addresses the reader as you, opens with a question the reader might ask and replaces reallocated and notification with everyday words. It keeps the reason, another patient who needs care, because people are more willing to follow a request when they understand it. The readability score fell from about the 17th grade to the 4th.
Piece Three: An Email to a Supervisor
The first draft read: Hi, I wanted to let you know that I have been noticing that a lot of the time when patients call to reschedule they have a hard time getting through because the phones are busy, especially in the mornings, and I was thinking maybe we could look at that at some point if you have time. The revision read: Subject: Morning phone wait times, idea to discuss. Could we talk this week about morning call volume? Between 8 and 10 a.m. last week, I logged 23 callers who hung up after waiting over three minutes. One option is to send reschedule requests through the new text reply. I can bring the log.
What Changed in Piece Three
The original hedged every clause and made no clear request. The revision asks for a meeting in the first sentence, gives specific data from a log, offers one possible solution and says what I will bring. It is shorter and more confident without being pushy.
Patterns in My Drafts
Comparing the three first drafts showed patterns I had not noticed. I bury the main point at the end. I use abbreviations and office phrases that I read every day but patients and managers may not. I hedge when writing to people above me. My drafts also run long; each revision was shorter than its draft, by about 40% overall.
What Research Taught Me
Two readings changed how I revise. The first showed that a large share of what clinicians say is lost by the time patients get home, and part of what remains is wrong (Kessels, 2003), which made me see written instructions as the patient's memory aid, not a formality. The second, a study of dictated clinical documents, found errors in 7.4 of every 100 words of raw speech recognition text and errors remaining in 42.4% of signed notes (Zhou et al., 2018). I now assume any draft contains errors until I have checked it.
Plain Language as a Standard
Federal plain language guidelines recommend writing for the reader, using you, short sentences, active voice and common words, and testing documents with readers (Plain Language Action and Information Network, 2011). I had thought of plain language as simplifying. The portfolio showed me it is about respect: making the reader's task as easy as possible.
My Revision Checklist
I will keep using six questions. Is the main point in the first sentence? Would the reader know every abbreviation? Is every number, name and date checked? Can the longest sentence be split? Is any sensitive information included that does not need to be? Did I read it aloud? Going through the questions takes about two minutes for a short piece.
Feedback From Readers
Two of the revised pieces were read by others before use. A patient in the waiting room read the text reminder and said the reply options were clear. My supervisor replied to the revised email within an hour and scheduled the meeting, which the earlier drafts had never prompted. Reader responses were the best evidence that the revisions worked.
What I Would Still Improve
The portfolio is not finished work. The handout paragraph still uses the word visit and appointment interchangeably elsewhere in the handout, which could confuse readers, and the email could name a proposed meeting time. Revision can always go further; the skill is knowing when a piece is clear enough for its reader.
Conclusion
The three before-and-after pieces show revision doing different work: protecting privacy in a text reminder, making a policy readable in a handout and turning a hesitant email into a clear request with data. The reflection revealed my own patterns, a buried main point, abbreviations and hedging, and research gave me reasons to revise every time. Revision is now the part of writing I plan for, not the part I skip.
References
Kessels, R. P. C. (2003). Patients' memory for medical information. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 96(5), 219-222. https://doi.org/10.1177/014107680309600504
Plain Language Action and Information Network. (2011). Federal plain language guidelines. https://www.plainlanguage.gov/guidelines/
Zhou, L., Blackley, S. V., Kowalski, L., Doan, R., Acker, W. W., Landman, A. B., Kontrient, E., Mack, D., Meteer, M., Bates, D. W., & Goss, F. R. (2018). Analysis of errors in dictated clinical documents assisted by speech recognition software and professional transcriptionists. JAMA Network Open, 1(3), Article e180530. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2018.0530
What the HCA 130 Module 8 instructions ask for
HCA 130 centers on proofreading and revision exercises, according to Aspen's catalog, and since the final module's wording is released only to enrolled students, a revision portfolio with reflection was chosen here. Portfolio assignments usually ask you to collect pieces from the course, show drafts and final versions, explain changes and reflect on what you learned. Check how many pieces your prompt requires and whether they must come from earlier modules. Write the reflection in the first person and be specific about your own habits. Support what you learned with course readings rather than general statements about growth. Pieces that show different kinds of change make the strongest portfolio. Explain your changes in the order a reader would notice them.
Inside the HCA 130 Module 8 example
About 1,040 words fill fourteen sections in this portfolio. Three pieces appear in order, each with its first draft, revision and a section explaining the changes. The reflection then identifies patterns across the drafts, including that revisions were about 40% shorter, and explains what two studies and federal plain language guidance taught. A six-question checklist, feedback from real readers and a note on what could still improve precede the conclusion. A margin note explains why removing the visit reason from a text reminder counts as revision, not only editing. Readability scores and a word count show the size of each change. The reflection moves from patterns to evidence to a plan.
HCA 130 Module 8 rubric: what earns full marks
Revision portfolios are generally assessed on the quality of revisions, explanation of changes, depth of reflection and connection to course learning. The revisions here are substantial, not cosmetic, and each is explained. The reflection names specific patterns and ties them to readings on patient memory, dictation errors and plain language, all in APA style. A checklist shows how the learning will carry forward. Graders also look for honesty about limits, and the section on what could still improve provides it. First-person voice is appropriate here and used consistently. Specific numbers, such as the drop in reading level, make the reflection concrete. Balanced attention across all three pieces also matters.
Common HCA 130 Module 8 mistakes, and how to avoid them
Weak portfolios show final versions only, or explain changes vaguely, such as made it clearer. Show both versions and say exactly what changed and why. Students also write reflections about feelings rather than specific habits; name the patterns you found in your drafts. Another gap is failing to connect the reflection to readings. Choose pieces that show different kinds of revision, not three similar edits. If you would like help selecting pieces or sharpening your reflection, our tutors can review your portfolio with you and point out where more detail would help. End with a checklist or plan you will actually use. Keep each explanation short and tied to the text you changed.
Write yours, or have the desk draft it
This paper is an original model document written by our desk, not a submitted student paper and not an official Aspen University document. Read it for the moves, then write your own to the instructions in your classroom. If you want one built to your exact prompt and rubric, the first custom sample is free and arrives in 24 to 48 hours.
More HCA 130 and Health Care Administration sample papers
- HCA 130 Module 1: Writing Basics for Health Care Work
- HCA 130 Module 2: Proofreading and Revision as a Habit
- HCA 130 Module 3: Plain Language for Patients
- HCA 130 Module 4: A Patient Letter About a Result
- HCA 130 Module 5: Professional Email and Messages
- HCA 130 Module 6: An Internal Memo Announcing a Change
- HCA 130 Module 7: A Short Report for a Manager
- HCA 100 Module 7: The Language of Health Care
- HCA 205 Module 7: Diagnostic Tests and Results
- HCA 120 Module 7: Security and Privacy in Daily Use
- HCA 320 Module 8: Executive Brief and Proposal
HCA 130 Module 8 questions, answered
What does HCA 130 Module 8 usually ask for?
Aspen's HCA 130 description centers on proofreading and revision, so a portfolio of revised pieces with a reflection is a typical final assignment. Check your classroom prompt.
What goes in a revision portfolio?
Pieces of writing in first and final form, an explanation of what changed in each and a reflection on what the writer learned.
How personal should the reflection be?
Use I throughout, name the habits you spotted in your drafts, and back them with course readings.
Where can I find a free HCA 130 Module 8 sample paper?
The full revision portfolio, three before-and-after pieces with reflection and margin notes, is shown above. It completes the eight HCA 130 samples.
Can I use first person in the HCA 130 Module 8 reflection?
Yes. Writing as I is expected there, since you are describing your own drafting habits and what changed them.